California

According to a new Reuters / Ipsos poll, a record number of disaffected, Hillary-supporting Californians now support secession from the United States because they're just so "triggered" by Trump's victory.  If successful, California would become the single largest "safe space" in the world.

Per the poll, 1 in every 3 Californians now support a "peaceful withdrawal from the union," which is a substantial increase from the 20% who favored such a withdrawal the last time a similar poll was conducted in 2014. 

Budgeting can be difficult, particularly for expansive state budgets that require a ton of inputs to support 1,000s of line items each of which can result in massive variances depending on the development of various economic indicators like interest rates, commodity prices, etc. throughout the year.

A University of California student has vowed to publicly remove his sexual organ in a bizarre DIY ‘sex change’ if Donald Trump begins work on building a US-Mexican border wall.  In an extreme form of protest, freshman Seth Greenberg promised to cut off his penis the minute Trump begins work on the wall. “I’m so confident that Trump is full of sh*t, that I will cut my d*ck off, publicly if he adds even a mile of new wall” Greenberg said in an interview. Everyjoe.com reports: “I will really do this,” Greenberg reaffirmed.

Outspoken Trump supporter and Silicon Valley billionaire Peter Thiel is reportedly considering a 2018 bid for California governor. While Politico reports close Thiel friends are skeptical, the deeply-private entrepreneur's rare interview with the New York Times’ Maureen Dowd raised eyebrows and Thiel has conspicuously yet to rule out a bid.

California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom has vowed to do everything in his power to block Trump’s plan to build a wall along the Mexican border.  In an interview with the LA Times, Newsom says he will take advantage of various environmental laws at his disposal to stop Trump in his tracks and sabotage his plans for building the controversial wall. Breitbart.com reports: “There’s something called CEQA in California—NEPA at the federal level,” Newsom told the podcast host. “There’s indigenous lands and autonomies relating to governance on those lands.