iPhone

There is outrage in Australia after the Meteorological Office attempted to brush a chemtrails scandal under the carpet by declaring the geometric lines are a “beautiful natural phenomenon.” The rows of perfectly straight chemtrails were caught on camera by a passenger onboard a Virgin Australia flight and uploaded to social media. The extraordinary photos caused outrage on Twitter and Instagram, with Australians demanding to know the truth about the real nature of geoengineering in their country.

Jacob Pramuk seems to make a living by second guessing just about every single thing President elect Trump does. His Twitter account is littered with anti-Trump gibberish. As an employee of CNBC, the home of the hardest Hillary shiller of all time -- John Harwood -- Jacob is right at home, very comfy, writing shit about Trump.
 

If there is one company that wishes 2016 could be as quickly as possible put away in the history books, it was Apple: with the Apple watch now a confirmed dud, the iPhone 7 a bust relative to Apple's other offerings, demand for Apple's once brilliant creations waning, and the first recorded declines in both iPhone sales and earnings, 2016 was a year Tim Cook would love to never repeat. Alas, according to Japan's Nikkei, 2017 is set to begin with a whimper, not a bang, as Apple will trim production of its iPhones by at least 10% in the first quarter of 2017.

In case some of you were duped into believing this was evidence that proved Russia hacked the US elections, John McAfee would like to remind you that you're probably a high tier retard and would believe virtually anything your government told you.

Crazy, but brilliant, John said “if it looks like the Russians did it, then I can guarantee you it was not the Russians.”

The core thread of next year's relatively downbeat "surprises" from Seabreeze Partners' Doug Kass is that the crowd is wearing Trump-colored glasses and that the single-biggest surprise is how quickly the bloom comes off the Trump flower.

In 2017 Donald Trump no longer will be seen as an invincible politician or a self-proclaimed stock market savior (see Surprise #3). Rather, he will learn, the hard way, the difficulty in governing and what Mario Cuomo meant when he said, "Campaign in poetry, govern in prose."