Joshua Gibbs is teaching Dante to his students. He says (correctly!) that the Commedia is all about learning to desire the right things. This is really difficult, because it requires change, it requires metanoia. It requires repentance. And it all starts with wanting to be good, which is a more difficult thing to pull off than you might think. Excerpt:
I have found it liberating, exhilarating, and encouraging to admit to my students that I do not want to change. Change begins with the admission that you do not want to change— otherwise the change would have already taken place. When a man admits he does not want to become righteous, he understands the nature of the problem: he knows what righteousness is, but has not lived in such a way as to find righteousness attractive. A man who is not becoming righteous may have convinced himself of any number of lies which excuse stagnation: the problem is ignorance, the problem is environment, the problem is a hectic life. I do not have time to be good. When the problem is recognized— and the problem is a lack of desire for goodness— then that man can begin praying and confessing properly. Forgive me for not wanting good things. I have regularly confessed to my students, “I have a hard time praying for God to give me enough faith to pass the martyr’s test. Instead, I just pray I won’t be put to the martyr’s test.”
That whole post of his hit home with me, you won’t be surprised to learn. In How Dante Can Save Your Life, I tell the story of wanting to be at peace with my Dad, but not wanting to give up my claim on justice against him. My priest told me that this was a dead end, that I would never know real peace until I chose Love over Justice. And, of course, he was right. I find that it’s hard enough to choose good over an evil we happen to cherish, but it’s much harder to choose the supreme good over a rival good.