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Drink Driving Woman Acquitted, Claims Her Body Is A Brewery

A woman from Hamburg, New York, successfully defended her drink driving charge, by claiming that her body is a natural brewery. Irish Independent reports: The woman was arrested while driving with a blood-alcohol level more than four times the legal limit in New York state. She then discovered she had a rare condition called “auto-brewery syndrome”, in which her digestive system converts ordinary food into alcohol, according to her lawyer, Joseph Marusak.

Chipotle December Sales Collapse; Reports Receipt Of FDA Subpoena, New Stock Buyback

And the hits just keep on coming. In a double-whammy for investors hoping to catch Chipotle's falling-knife, the mexican fast-food restaurant reports a 30% collapse in same-store-sales for December and receiving a grand jury subpoena with regard the California Norovirus event. The stock crashed 10% on the news.  However, the stock's initial collapse has been rescued as CMG reports a boost to its buyback program... seriously!

 

From CMG's statement:

December 2015 Sales Trend Detail

 

Paul McCartney’s 1966 Death Conspiracy Goes Deeper Than We Thought

Ringo Starr has apparently come clean about the infamous conspiracy that Paul McCartney died in the 60’s, saying that the burden of the secret has become too much for him to bare.  Prior to Ringo coming forward with this information, a large number of conspiracy theorists suggested that the original Paul McCartney left The Beatles in 1966. Does this latest revelation ‘confirm’ what conspiracy theorists have been saying for years?

Pentagon: Hundreds Of Military Kids Are Sexually Abused Each Year

The Pentagon have revealed that hundreds of incidents involving sexual assaults with children of service members occur every year.  The revelation by the Defense Department shows that abuse is mostly committed by male enlisted troops and family members. Yahoo News reports: The figures offer greater insight into the sexual abuse of children committed by service members, a problem of uncertain scale due to a lack of transparency into the military’s legal proceedings. With more than 1 million military dependents, the number of cases appears statistically small.

Home Office Grants Asylum To Refugee Who Walked The Channel Tunnel To UK

A Sudanese man has been granted asylum in the UK after he was arrested walking the length of the Channel Tunnel from France to England last August. The Guardian reports: Abdul Haroun, who was arrested at the English end of the tunnel in August and charged with obstructing a railway under an obscure 19th-century law, has been held in prison since then. He was to face trial this month.

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