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MuLLAH MoRoN TaCKLeS ISIS...

MuLLAH MoRoN TaCKLeS ISIS...

FAUX NEWS--“As we, and our foreign allies and partners, have made it harder for foreign terrorists to reach Syria and Iraq, we have seen an uptick in the number of ISIS fighters heading to Libya,” Mullah Moron told reporters at CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia, after a meeting with intelligence chiefs intended to review U.S. strategy against the group.

Pope Francis Builds Vatican Army To Prepare For Coming World War

Pope Francis has quietly gathered an army of between ‘ten to twelve thousand highly trained soldiers’ according to conservative estimates by Vatican observers, and has even deployed a number of these troops in Syria. The Pope has one of the oldest standing military units in the world, the Pontifical Swiss Guard, formed in 1506 by Pope Julius II.   Generally throughout history this private militia, populated by top ex-Swiss soldiers, has functioned as a personal bodyguard service for the Pontiff, with total numbers rarely exceeding one hundred.

Unity Trumps a Flawed Candidate

If politics is the art of the possible, what’s possible changed dramatically on Tuesday.

In recent weeks, it was possible to imagine the Republican Party’s nomination going to someone other than the remaining candidates: Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and John Kasich. In the final tally, none may have enough delegates to meet the party’s threshold for winning the nomination on the first ballot. For this reason, speculation in Washington has been that House Speaker Paul Ryan might step in.

Earlier this week, Ryan narrowed the frame of what’s possible. Twice.

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